Silly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What do lawyers wear to court? A. Lawsuits!

Why did the lazy man want a job in a bakery?
So he could loaf around!

Why doesn’t the sea spill over the earth?
Because it’s tied!

Who was the Black Prince?
The son of Old King Cole!

Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a gas that could burn through anything?
No, what about him?
Now he’s trying to invent something to hold it in!

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
So he could tell the time at night!

Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!

Where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!

Why did the burglar take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!

What kind of fish can’t swim?
Dead ones!

How do Welsh people eat cheese?
Caerphilly!

Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Because they would look silly in anoraks!

A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain.' You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends,' you'd better stay the night.'' That's very kind of you,' said the boy.' I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'

In the park this morning I was surrounded by Lions!
Lions! !, in the Park?
Well, dandelions!

My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!

Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A. Hi Cliff!