Silver Jokes / Recent Jokes

From the people who brought you "Buckets of Blood 3"
yes, it's the:
N. I. H. E. Dublin, Ireland
B.A. in COMMUNICATION STUDIES
Final year exam 1989
Time: 9 am till opening time.
Candidates must not write on more than two sides of the exam paper.
Marks will be deducted for bad spelling and writing which is difficult
to read.
1. What language is spoken by French Canadians?
2. Give important characteristics of ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions or give the
first names of the Osmonds.
3. What religion is the Pope? [Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, Anglican (ONE only)].
4. Who won the Second World War? Who came second?
5. What is a silver dollar made of? Gold, Silver, polyvinylchloride (ONE only).
6. Explain Le Chatelier's principal of dynamic equilibrium
force or spell your name in BLOCK capitals.
7. Approximately how many commandments were give more...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in for a snort.
After a while a stranger walks into the bar and asks, ‘who owns the white horse tied up outside? ’
The Lone Ranger said, ‘Why, that would be mine. Why do you ask? ’
‘Because it? collapsed and looks like it’s dying, ’ says the stranger.
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto head out to check on Silver.
‘He’s probably just suffering from the heat, ’ says the Lone Ranger, who asks Tonto if he could run around Silver for a while to help keep him cool.
The Lone Ranger returns to the bar and after half an hour another stranger walks in and asks, ‘who owns the white horse outside? ’
The Lone Ranger says, ‘That’s mine, what’s the problem this time? ’
‘Oh, no problem, ’ says the stranger, ‘it’s just that you’ve left your injun running. ’

A couple go to Mexico City for vacation and go to a famous local restaurant. They ask the waiter's opinion about what to order, and he tells them they have a special each Sunday that's wonderful, so the couple orders that. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping; it smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple are delighted with their meal and ask the waiter just what the fabulous meat dish was. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate. The couple are a bit taken aback by what they had just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns back in Mexico City and decide to go to the same same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time more...

One day Mary, a mom of 3, was making a pie for her kids. Johnny was 5, steve was 10, and Cortez was 15. Steve had a BB gun and left the box of BBs on on the kitchen table. While Mary was cooking the pie she turned and the box of BBs fell into the pie mix. She decided not to worry about and left them in without tell her children. After dinner, the desert was the pie and every kid had 2 pieces. The next day when they got home johnny went to his mom and say that he peed out little silver balls and Mary told him not to worry about it. Then steve came to her and said the same thing and she told him not to worry about it. Then Cortez came to mary and mary said, "let me guess, you peed out little silver balls." and Cortez said, "No i was jacking off in the kitchen and i think i killed the dog!".

Silver Nitrate
(to the tune of "Silver Bells")

Silver nitrate, silver nitrate
it's chemistry time in the lab
Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring
soon it will be chemistry day.

Take your nitrate, in solution
Add your copper with style
In the beaker there's a feeling of reactions
silver forming, blue solution
Bringing ooh's ah's and wows
now the data procesing begins.

Get the mass, change to moles
what is the ratio with copper?
Write an equation, balance it
we're glad it's Chemistry Day.

This guy who owns a porno shop and has his friend watch the store while he runs some errands. While the owner is away, in walks this red head lady. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that pink dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$25." She said, "I'll take it!" A few minutes later in walks this brunette. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that purple dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$50." She said, "I'll take it." A while later this blonde walks in. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She walked up to the counter and asked, "How much for that big silver dildo on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$100." She pays him and leaves. In walks the owner and asks how business was doing, and his friend replies, "I sold the pink dildo for $25, I sold the purple dildo for $50, and I sold your THERMOS for a $100."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lon e Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes more...