Silver Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been rounding up bad guys all day, and were
in big-time need of a beer. They rode their horses as fast as they could
to the nearest town, and tied them to the rail outside the saloon.
The Lone Ranger told Tonto to stay outside a little while and run around
Silver real fast so that Silver doesn't get sick from overheating.
Tonto said, "Sure thing, Kemosabe", and did as he was asked.
While the Lone Ranger was inside having his beer, a stranger walked in and
asked, "Who owns that big white stallion tied up outside?"
"I do", said the Lone Ranger, "what's it to you?"
The stranger ordered a beer, turned to Lone Ranger and said, "Nothin' to
me, Pardner, but you left your injun runnin'"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another more...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, more...

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
(Joseph Romm, Washington)
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
(Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
(Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of more...

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?"

"No, sir," a student called out.

"No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve."

"Because if it would, you wouldn't have dropped it in."

Irish father Flannigan, an elderly irish priest invited irish father O`Connell, a younger irish priest from a neighboring parish who was fresh from the seminary, over for dinner. During the meal, the young irish priest couldn`t help noticing how attractive and shapely the house keeper was. Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly irish priest and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading the young irish priest`s thoughts, the elderly irish priest volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional." About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly irish priest and said, "irish father Flannigan, ever since the irish father O`Connell came to dinner, I`ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don`t suppose he took it do you?" The irish priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I`ll write him a letter just sure." So he more...

The world's best and most famous conductor makes a small mistake
while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. The audience
doesn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew
he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. Once the
performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said
"Ladies and Gentleman, this is my last performance as a world class
conductor. I'm now announcing my retirement."
After a few minutes silence from the shocked audience, and orchestra
too, he was greeted with boos and hisses. He walked from the stage,
only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized
bodyguards. "Oh no you don't", his manager said, "you're not retiring."
Forced backed to work by his manager, he endured week after week of
conducting he no longer wanted to do. While lying in bed one night
with his wife of many years, he turned to her and said more...