Simpson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food more...

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sick.I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.This punishment is not boring and pointless. My name is not Dr. Death.I will not defame New Orleans.I will not prescribe medication.I will not bury the new kid.I will not teach others to fly.I will not bring sheep to class.A burp is not an answer.Teacher is not a leper.Coffee is not for kids.I will not eat things for money.I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.I will not call the principal "spud head". Goldfish don't bounce.Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. No one is interested in my underpants. I will not sell miracle cures.I will return the seeing-eye dog.I do not have more...

A shopkeeper in Spain found a euro with Homer Simpson's face on it. The most amazing part is... it's still worth more than the American dollar.

The opening credits of The Simpsons(tm) shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on the chalkboard. Here are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits.
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't more...

The opening credits of The Simpsons(tm) shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on the chalkboard. Here are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits.I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sick.I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.This punishment is not boring and pointless.My name is not Dr. Death.I will not prescribe medication.I will not bury the new kid.I will not teach others to fly.I will not bring sheep to class.A burp is not an answer.Teacher is not a leper.I will not eat things for money.I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.I will not call the principal "spud head".Goldfish don't bounce.Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.No one is interested in my underpants.I will not sell miracle more...

Jessica Simpson recently signed up for golf lessons. Perfect. She already has the high waist pants.

Former NFL star running back (and murderer) O.J. Simpson has been questioned as a possible suspect in an alleged theft at a hotel-casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, police spokesman said Friday. Simpson claims that he was conducting a sting operation to collect some of his own memorabilia.

In the room, police did find the items belonging to Simpson:

A Bloody Glove
A Bloody Knife
A Bloody football
A Bloody Heisman Trophy
A Bloody Jersey
A Bloody white diamond dress once belonging to Carol Channing and a pair of Bloody socks.

Simpson was adamant about having his name besmirched as a thief. "I hate being labeled a thief" stated Simpson.