Simpson Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between Prince Charles and OJ Simpson? A: Prince Charles' (ex)wife was killed by a white man in a black car.

1. Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

2. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

3. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

4. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

5. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

6. Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful...magical animal.

7. Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper? Homer: Can't he be both, like the late more...

OJ Simpson returned to jail Friday on a bail violation. He allegedly told his bail bondsman to contact co-defendant Clarence "C.J." Stewart and express frustration about testimony given at the hearing where Simpson, Stewart and a third man were ordered to stand trial.

Simpson denies ever trying to contact Stewart. But he did explain how he would have contacted Stewart if he indeed had needed to contact him.