Sister Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was on his death bed, while his wife was stroking his hair. ”My dear wife, ” the man gasped, “I have a confesion to make, ”
“Sshh, my love, tell me when were in heaven together, ”
“I can’t, I must tell you now…. I slept with your sister, your other sister, your mother, your uni teacher, you cousin, your best friend, your sister in law, your brother, your anti, and some of your other reletives and friends I can’t actualy name, but, god do I remember them, ”
“Sshh, my love, I know, that’s why I poisoned you. ”

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone." Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved." Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun "Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven." "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father more...

In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks,
" Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your mother?"
The little girl says,
"Forty."
The teacher says,
"Yes, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers,
"Nineteen."
The teacher says,
"Oh my sweet, yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can I get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old are you?"
The little girl says,
"I'm seven years! ! old."
The teacher says,
"No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says,
"See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."

one day a boy and his sister were about to go to bed when his sister says "
can i sleep with you"
, her brother says "
o.k"
just dont look under the covers now. The sister looked ounder the covers and says "
what is that?"
her brother says oh that is mr piggy wiggy. The next morning the brother woke up in the hospital and asked his sister why he was hear, then the sister says Mr. Piggy Wiggy spit on me so i broke his arm and bit his head off!

My blonde sister is a waitress at a hotel. One morning a customer was sitting at the table in the dining area, and said to my sister: "I'd like a cup of coffee, no cream."
My sister went to get the coffee, but after 2 minutes came back to ask, "I'm sorry sir, we are out of cream. Would you want your coffee without milk instead?"

A little girl was at preschool, and she asked the teacher:
"Can my mom get pregnant?"
"How old is your mom?" asked the teacher.
"40," answered the little girl.
"Yes, your mom could get pregnant," said the teacher.
"Could my sister get pregnant?" asked the little girl.
"How old is your sister?" asked the teacher.
"19," the little girl answered.
"Yes, she certainly could get pregnant," said the teacher.
"Could I get pregnant?"asked the little girl.
"How old are you?" asked the teacher.
"3," answered the girl.
"No you couldn't get pregnant," said the teacher.
Then the little boy behind the girl tapped her back and said to her:
"See? I told you we had nothing to worry about!"

I was at my friends house and we were bragging about how little we can eat. My friend J.B sister said some times I don't eat all day. I asked her, "oh you fast?" Then she says, "No, I'm actually pretty slow." Then her mom told her fasting is not eating for a long time. That is why breakfast is called breakfast, to break your fast and eat. Then his sister goes, "How do you know?"
I busted a gut so bad. She should have been a blond.