Sister Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not' spinsters.' They are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Sister Brigid was teaching her young students one day and she asked each ofthem what they would like to be when they grew up. She came to a little girl who responded, "When I grow up I want to be a prostitute." Shocked, good Sister Brigid fainted on the spot. Her students rushed to revive her. When she came around, Sister asked the little girl, "What did you say you wanted to be when you grew up?" The little girl replied, "A prostitute." "Oh thank goodness," the relieved nun replied "I thought you said a Protestant."

my sister she has moles.
and i cant find my remote so whata do... go to mexico with your sister so you can call her guacaMOLE

Morris calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama."

The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up."

"But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?"

"It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain."

"But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?"

"No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've more...

Morris calls his son in NY and says," Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don`t want to discuss it. I`m merely telling you because you`re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I`ve made up my mind, I`m divorcing Mama." The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don`t want to get into it. My mind is made up." "But Dad, you just can`t decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?" "It`s too painful to talk about it. I only called because you`re my son, and I thought you should know. I really don`t want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain." "But where`s Mama? Can I talk to her?" "No I don`t want you to say anything to her about it. I haven`t told her yet. Believe me it hasn`t been easy. I`ve agonized over it for several days, and I`ve finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with more...

My sister used to work for the government, but now she has seniority.

A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their car breaks down. They are unable to get repairs completed and it appears that they will have to spend the night in a motel. The only motel in this town has only one room available so they have a minor problem. Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed. Sister: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Sister: Father, I'm terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I'll get up and get you a blanket from the closet. Ten minutes later... Sister: Father, I'm still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get up and get you another blanket. Ten minutes later... Sister: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night. Priest: You're probably right... more...