Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because they won't stop to ask directions.

So one sperm says to the other "When do we get to the ovaries?" The other replies "Ovaries! We're not even past the throat yet!"

What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head
What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.
What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds
Why can't a man be both good-looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.
Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.
Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.
Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.
Why do fewer women get married these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the
living room.
What is the similarity between a video recorder and a more...

There is this fella in a sperm bank que and he thinks that hes
in the wrong que, so he tapps this little old lady in front of
him on the shoulder. he says' is this the que for the sperm bank?
the little old lady replies hmmmmmmm!
little old ladys mouth is full of cum!!!!!!!

Once upon a time in a place where little sperms grow, there was a super jock sperm who spent all his time working out. He did things like lifting weights and running, his most important duty. All the other sperm were very curious about his pastimes.

"Why do you keep working out all the time," they asked.

"Well," he said, "Of all us sperms, only one of us is going to make it to the egg. And that is going to be me." Well, the other sperms just floated around waiting for the day to cum (pardon the expression). And it did, and they were off! All those sperms racing along and far out in front of them was the super jock sperm, racing so fast and so hard (ha HA ) that they couldn't see him any more, but they still kept cumming.

Alas, then, away in the distance, they heard a loud piercing scream. They still kept cumming though.

And then very shortly the super sperm appeared, screaming with all his might, "Go back, more...

There was a guy who worked at a turky sperm bank.He went to a turky farm to collect sperm.
When he got there a turky came up to him and said,"goble goble,"the guy said"No fuck you dude, your getting a hand like everybody else!

Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.