Statue Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue.""What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room."Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk."Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to." she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue." she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked the idea so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the "statue." Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went into the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here." he said to the 'statue.' "Eat this. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks: "What do you like best about it?"
"The artwork," says Robert.
"Very good. And you, Peter?"
"Tits!"
"Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving."

The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks: "What do you like best about it?""The artwork," says Robert."Very good. And you, Peter?""Tits!""Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?""I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving."

The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert."
"The artwork," says Robert.
"Very good. And you, Peter?"
"Her tits!" says Peter.
"Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust. "And you, Johnny?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..."

A man finds an old bronze statue of a rat in an antique store.The shopkeeper says: "It's $10 for the statue, but $100 for the story that goes with it."The man skips the story, hands over $10, and starts to walk home with the statue under his arm.On the way, hundreds of rats start to follow along behind him.The man runs to the nearest bridge and throws the statue in the water. To his amazement all the rats follow the statue and leap off the bridge to their deaths.When the man returns to the store the owner says: "You've come back for the story of the statue."The man says: "No, I was wondering if you might have a bronze statue of a Separatist."

An old wizard was walking through a park when he came upon two statues. One statue was male and the other was female. They were positioned on opposite ends of the park, facing each other with their arms extended out as if to embrace. The wizard stood there for a long time examining their sad facial expressions until he got an idea. He immediately opened up his bag of tricks and cast a spell on the statues to bring them to life. Once the statues realized they were human, they quickly ran up to him. The wizard, being very pleased with himself, told the statues that they could finally be together as a couple but there was one condition. He said, ''Go off and experience with each other whatever you've wanted to do for all these years but you must be back within a half an hour before the spell wears off.'' Wasting no time, they quickly ran off into the bushes. The wizard, with great pride, sat down on a park bench and waited patiently. Fifteen minutes later the two statues came walking more...