Statue Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208 Dear Friend; We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raisingof $5, 000, 000. 00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Famein Washington, D. C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It wasnot wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who nevertold a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, sinceBill Clinton could never tell the difference. We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatestdemocrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not knowwhere he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did itall on borrowed money. Over 3, 000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up yourshovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promisedland." Nearly 3, 000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your more...
a guy walks into a store and he sees this statue of a golden rat and he buys it. well after a while rats start to follow him and the longer he walks more rats join him well finaly he throws the statue into the river and all the rats jump in and drown well he goes back to the store and asks the owner if he has anything that works on black people
Having a good time in bed with her lover, the woman suddenly heard her husband entering the house. She told her lover to stand in the corner where she quickly rubbed oil all over him, then dusted him with powder. Whispering, she told him to stay perfectly still and pretend he was a statue.
As her husband entered the bedroom, he noticed something in the corner. "What is that dear?" he asked.
"Isn't it beautiful?" she replied. "It's a statue. I noticed one in the Hudson's bedroom and thought it was so unique I decided to get one for us as well."
Seeming to accept her explanation, they both retired for the day. A few hours later, the husband awoke, went to the kitchen, returned with a glass of milk and a sandwich and walked over to the statue. "Here, eat! I stood like a fool at the Hudson's for two days without even being offered a glass of water."
At a crossroads in the countryside, there stood a temple wherein was enshrined a statue of god carved in wood. One day, a man was pursuing his way when he saw a ditch before him. So he removed the statue from the temple and put it down lengthwise to span the ditch. He stepped on it and crossed over. Then another man came along. Unable to bear the sight of the statue lying in the ditch, he propped it up and carrying it back to the temple restored it to its pedestal. Thereupon the god accused of him of failing to burn incense and at once cursed him with a splitting headache. Bewildered, all the lectors of the Purgatory Judge asked the god: "The man who trod on you had gone unpunished; yet the man who helped you up has been cursed with a headache. Why?" "Well," the god explained, "you ought to know that the kindhearted people are the ones you can bully."
An art teacher brought a statue of Venus to class for the students to see. "What do you like best about it, class? Let's begin with you, Bobby," said the teacher.
"I like the artwork," Bobby said.
"Very good. And you Billy?" the teacher asked.
"I really like her tits!" Billy exclaimed.
"Get out, Billy! Go and stand in the hall!" instructed the disgusted teacher. "And you, Johnny?"
"I'm going, teacher, I'm going," Johnny replied.
Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, I'm surprised it didn't come with both arms raised.