Stone Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jesus walks upon a crowd with an adulteress crouching in a corner with a mob around her preparing to stone her to death.
Jesus stops them and says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"
Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fires off a stone at the adulteress and blasts her right in the head.
At which point Jesus looks over and says...
"Mother! Sometimes you really TICK ME OFF!"

Jesus walks upon a crowd with an adulteress crouching in a corner with a mob around her preparing to stone her to death.Jesus stops them and says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fires off a stone at the adulteress and blasts her right in the head.At which point Jesus looks over and says..."Mother! Sometimes you really TICK ME OFF!"

Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people.
"He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone."
Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head.
"Ouch, Dad! I hate when you do that!"

Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people.
''He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone." Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head.
''Ouch, Mom! I hate when you do that!"

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "Whats going on here, anyway?" he asked."This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded."Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head."Aw, cmon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "Im trying to make a point here!"

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies,' 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies,' 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says,' 'Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask,' 'Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

> Touring Ireland
>
> A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the
group
> was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are
> uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It? s too hot. It? s too cold. The
> accommodations are awful.
>
> The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck
> will be followin? ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"he
> guide said. "Unfortunately, it? s being cleaned today and so no one will
> be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
>
> "We can? t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
> "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can? t kiss the
> stupid stone."
>
> "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has
> kissed the stone, you? ll have the same good fortune."
>
> "And more...