Telephone Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuits for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other.
Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first.
The repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone. Climbing down from the pole, the repair man found:
A dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.
The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling more...

If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get? Snippy answers.

What kind of phone makes music? A saxophone.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Phone Won't Stop Ringing? Here's What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number. Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery. The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands. At 9 o'clock the phone rang. more...

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator).

There was three guys one of them was a Sri lankan guy.
when the wight man said that in thier country that when they
dick about 500 feet underground they found telephone wire so he
said that they have used telephone longe time ago. but the Black man
said that when they dick 700 feet they found telephone wires so
they have used telephone long long time ago. But the Sri Lankan
guy said that when in our country we dick more that 1000 feet and
we couldn't found any wires so we should have used handphone
very very long time ago.

Three guys go up to heaven at the same time, and the head angel says, "it's been a busy day, so i can only let one of you in. whoever has the best story gets to go in."
the first guy said,"i had been suspecting my wife has been cheating on me for the past year, so one day when i went up to the 25th story on our apartment (where I live) i heard her in our room, and i was expecting the worst. i decided to kill the man she was cheating on me with, so i looked out the window, and here's a guy who's hanging from my telephone wire. i hammer his fingers, but he doesn't drop. i decide to throw our refrigerator out the window, so i hoisted it up on my back, and my shirt got caught, and i threw it out the window and i fell out with it."
the second guy said, "i was an innocent window washer and i was washing windows when i saw something shiny. i reached out to grab it and the next thing i know im dangeling from a telephone wire. then a freak comes up and started more...