Together Jokes / Recent Jokes

You don't know Jack Schitt!
When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story.
Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.
Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children.
Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull.
As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt.
Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and more...

Two buddies get together and decide togo to a whorehouse, one of them tired ofdoing it with his wife all the time, theother not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up andcomes down and says " My wife is muchbetter". "Allright" goes the other guy," Let me go try the same woman." Well he goes and screws the whore, comes than says to his buddy, " You areright man, Your wife is much better."

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful you.... -- have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love... -- After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... -- I never believed in Hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... -- that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!... -- I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. -- You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get married... -- but not to more...

The Byrds are getting together for a 24 venue reunion tour. Sources say that new member George W. Bush will be playing drums and guitar to save money for the band. Apparantly, a Bush in the band is worth two in the Byrds.

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story.Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn.Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children.Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull.As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers.The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt.Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth of more...

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story. Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children. Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull. As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt. Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth more...

Three men die and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter is standing at the gates of Heaven. He says, "Now you may enter Heaven. But you must promise not to step on any ducks." So they all promised not to step on any ducks. The gates of Heaven opened. To their horror the grounds are covered with ducks. After 5 minutes the first man stepped on a duck. Instantly St. Peter appeared and tied an ugly women to him and said, " For your punishment you are now bound together for all eternity. After 10 minutes the second man stepped on a duck, again, instantly St. Peter appeared with an even uglier women and again, ties them both together and condemns them for all eternity. The third man was terrified. He Took special precautions not to step on any ducks. If there is one thing he hates it's an ugly woman. On the one year Aniversary of his arrival St. Peter comes to him and leads him to a beach at sunset where he meets the most beautiful woman in the world. He says to St. more...