Tour Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottlenipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubberbeing injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound isthe needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms aremanufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Waita minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?""Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says theguide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.""Well, that can't be good for the condoms!""Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

A guy is on a tour of a factory that manufactures different types of latex products. The first stop on the tour is at the machine that produces nipples for baby bottles. The machine makes a loud 'hiss-pop!' noise.
"That hiss you hear is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Eventually the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise - 'Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!'
"Just a second," the guy on the tour says. "I understand what the 'hisses' are, but what's the 'pop' every so often?"
"It's the same as the baby bottle nipples machine," the guide explains. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be very good for the condoms!" exclaims the guy.
"It sure is great for the baby bottle nipple business though!" the guide says.

During his recent visit to the UK Mikhail Gorbachev was taken on a tour of
a typical British factory by the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.
The tour started at 9:00 am and the factory was just starting to fill with
employees...
GORBY: "What these people do?"
MAGGIE: "Oh, they are just starting work!"
GORBY: "AAAARRggghhh! In Russia, start at 5:00 am"
So, they walk around for a while, viewing some machinery and at 10:30 a hooter
sounds and the factory workers leave.
G: "Where they go?"
M: "Oh, it is morning tea time. They have a break for 20 minutes."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! In Russia, no morning tea."
At 12:00 noon the two VIP's are viewing plans for a new factory and a hooter
sounds and the factory workers leave, again.
G: "Where they go now?"
M: "Oh, it is lunch time. They take a break for an hour."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! One hour. In Russia, is more...

Jon:

To ensure that you have a good time on your trip to Australia, your team members have planned and developed a special itinerary to fill the time during your leisure hours. Agenda follows:

Day 1: The' 10 Deadliest Snakes' Fall Tour. You and a guest will be escorted through the outback and provided with the opportunity to handle and examine each of the world's 10 most deadly snakes.

Day 2: The' Great White Encounter.' You and your tour guide will take a small boat to the Great Barrier Reef, where you will be able to dive into the chum-laden water and experience the beauty of the Great White shark.

Day 3: The Aboriginal' Festival of Spears.' You will be the honored guest of a small aboriginal village as they celebrate the subjugation of the aboriginal race by the white man, with free liquor and a special weapons exhibition.

Day 4: The' Crocodile Dundee' Petting Zoo. You will be able to come up-close and personal with the more...