Towel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. Shed hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesnt mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, Im covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "Youre lying on the dining room skylight."

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your belly to see if you have pecs. (No.) Turn on the water. Check for pecs again. (No.) Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a sponge. (You don't use one.) Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Wash your penis and surrounding area. Wash your arse. Shampoo your hair. (Do not use conditioner.) Make a shampoo Mohican. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror. Pee. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your girlfriend/wife, flash her.

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion." Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm." They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi." Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. more...

A woman gets out of the shower, and the doorbell goes, her husband yells to her to get the door, so she hurrys down the stairs with just a towel on.
When the women opens the door to find her next door neighbour dave at the door, hes shocked to see her in just a towel and says "if you drop your towel i will give you five hundred pounds" the woman is confused but evenutally says yes and she drops her towel and he gives her the money.
She closes the door and runs up to her husband to tell him, he asks "who was that" she replies " dave from next door" the husband then says " good, did he give you that five hundred pounds, that he owed me"

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to
marry her right away. She said, "But we don`t know anything about
each other."
&
He said, "That`s all right, we`ll learn about each other as we go
along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a
honeymoon to a very nice resort.
&
One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of
his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a& half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in& jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water
like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and& lay down on the towel.
&
She said," That was incredible!"
&
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told
you we`d learn more about ourselves as we went along."
&
So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. more...

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.
The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband more...

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion."Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi."Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The more...