Travel Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Hotel Odeon in Paris is offering tourists a' Diana Tour' - a personal reenactment of Princess Diana's last night alive. For $50 extra you can enjoy the "Land Mind Obstacle Course".

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket more...

Pilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven. . . "

INTELLIGENCE IS A BYPRODUCT OF EVOLUTION
Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft employee.
"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.
They all board the train. The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Microsoft employees more...

Old world charm. ........ Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical. ....................... Rainy.
Majestic setting. ...... A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore. ............ Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway. ......Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms. ....Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own. ....At your own expense.
Minutes From? ??...........By Plane
Romantic. ..................... No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts. .. They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees. ............. No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise...... Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee. ................ Outrageous charge.
Standard. .................... Sub-standard.
Deluxe. ....................... Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations... One complimentary chocolate,
free shower cap.
All the amenities. ........ Two more...

This lady who was living in New York City had to get back toher old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a workergetting ready to load supplies onto a boat. "Please I need to get back to England" she pleaded." If you sneak me onboard tonight I'll give you favors all the wayacross the ocean." Well needless to say later that night he put her in a duffel bagand carried her onboard. Down in the hold where she washidden he said, "When I bring you some food, twice a day, I'll collect." And being true to her word she agreed. This went on for about a week when by accident the captainfound her." Please don't get angry," she started to say and explained thestory to the captain who busted up laughing." Why are you laughing?" she demanded. He said, "Because you're on the Statten Island Ferry."

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone." He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there' cause I figured ain't nobody' bout to steal him."