Trooper Jokes / Recent Jokes

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?""Just water," says the priest.The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready." Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick. The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?"The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,' I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!

Two guys are driving through Alabama, when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The Trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the Trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's licence, and he's clean. He gives the guy his licence back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that jerk would've tried that more...

1991 - A Montana State University chemistry professor claimed in March that he was wrongfully accused of being drunk after an accident (which occurred while he was on work-release for a previous (drunk driving sentence). While a state trooper found him "highly intoxicated," the professor said a chemical explosion in his lab caused him to smell and act drunk and that his statement to the trooper about having consumed a six-pack of beer was merely incoherent babbling" because of the trauma of the accident.
1992 - Steven L. Johnson, 40, sentenced to two years in prison in Brookings, S.D., in April for drunk driving, explained to the judge: "I enjoyed drinking while driving. It's one of the most pleasurable habits I've had."
1993 - Only days apart, two Wisconsin men arrived in court drunk for their trials on drunken-driving charges. Both denied they had been drunk while driving, and both denied they were drunk in the courtroom. James Heard had a 0.26 more...

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldnt walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasnt coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers."Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was."Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he."And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed."Where is your car now?" the t roopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage."May we see the more...