Understand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

A businessman sends a fax to his wife:
To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife.
Therefore after reading this fax, I hope that you will not
wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed I shall be back home before midnight.
When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table.
My Dear Husband,
I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael my tennis coach, who like your secretary is also 18 years old.

As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of Math, you will more...

Two guys, one with a Doberman and the other with a Chihuahua, were taking a walk. As they strolled down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to that bar and have something to drink."
The guy with the Chihuahua replied, "We can't go in there. We have our dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk into the bar.
"Sorry, buddy, no pets allowed," the bouncer at the door said.
The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
"A Doberman?" the bouncer asked skeptically.
"Yes, they're using them now," the man replied. "They're actually quite good."
"Ok then, come on in," said the bouncer.
The guy with the Chihuahua decided he'd try it too, so he put on a pair of dark more...

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.

Bob was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove Joe crazy. "Don't you understand?!? We're going to die!!"
Bob replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week."
Joe looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to DIE!!!"
Bob answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!"

A woman is driving on the road &
A man is driving in the opposite direction, on that same road &
When they pass each other, the woman rolls down her window and shouts
- HORSE
Immediately the man shouts back
- Bitch!
The man laughs because he is happy to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman, and takes the turn in the road with high speed.
The man is killed by a horse smashing into his front window.

The moral:
Men never understand what women say.

Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.
Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!
Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?
Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions... like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"