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Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems." So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
Upon arriving more...

It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter.
The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife ended up on a flight the day after her husband.
The husband made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in Minneapolis an email.
Unfortunately, he didn't notice he had misspelled his wife's email address
In South Carolina, a widow had just returned from the funeral of her husband, a Methodist pastor of many years, who had been called to glory just a few days earlier.
She decided to check her email because she was expecting to hear from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first email, she let out a loud scream, fainted and fell to the floor.
The woman's son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He glanced up at the computer screen and saw more...

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for
baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a
very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet
and gentle man, but he would never go for this carrying on."
So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months
later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived
in the country she called her husband and told him that she would
be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small
diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of more...

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion forbaked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had avery embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparentthat they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweetand gentle man, but he would never go for this carrying on."So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some monthslater her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she livedin the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a smalldiner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walkoff any ill effects by the time she reached home.So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she hadconsumed three large orders of baked beans. She putt-putted all theway home, and upon arriving home more...

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep more...

Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
"Well thank you.", said the herder.
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"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman.
"Sure.", said the sheepherder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one more...

Upon coming home from work, Mr. Cramden was surprised to find his wife sliding up and down the banister.
"And what," he asked, "are you doing?" She shouted over her shoulder as she ran back up the stairs, "Just heating up your dinner."