Whale Jokes / Recent Jokes

A male whale and his mate were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance.
He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago. So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents.
She hesitates, knowing that they could become the next victims of the vessel, but he reassures her and tells her that he has been planning this all of his life, and he swims over and whispers the plan to her.
So, she agrees and they swim up under one side of the boat, and they both start blowing air through their blow holes. The boat starts to rock back-and-forth, and the sailors on the ship are scrambling all over the deck.
Finally the boat tips over, and the sailors are scattered through the ocean. The male whale is delighted and starts to gobble up the sailors, but the female whale starts to swim away...
So the male whale swims more...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whale. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they are ve ry large mammals, their throats are very small.
The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible. The little girl said, “I believe it because God said so”.
The teacher said that’s a book, even the bible, could not go against biological facts. And besides, there was no proof that there really was a God anyway. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “what if Jonah went to hell? ”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him. ”

There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time, she was sitting next to a man.
When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.
After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then more...

What`s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can`t keep a good man down!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his Father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time, and it should cause the ship to turn
overand sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."Look" she says "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to
swallow the seamen"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasnt a Fin whale!