Whale Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
"Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!
"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked.
"Oh, Jonah... Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied.
"Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked.
"Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady.
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?""Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked."Oh, Jonah... Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied."Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked."Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady."What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically."Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

On AppearanceExcessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris...a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs.Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male.T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head.Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable.On DatingIf you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to pass gas, face him..If you must more...

Excerpts from Readers's Digest.
My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. more...