Yell Jokes / Recent Jokes

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We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.
We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.
Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
In the more...

If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions...
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say, "Oh geez, better get cracking." and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring more...

If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions... Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
Bring cheerleaders.
Walk in, get the more...

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour. Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes. We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner". We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild. We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or more...

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...theBrunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato."C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead."Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead."No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!""OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!""No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde."No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket more...

Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, AOL Disks, etc.)
Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a more...

1. When waiting to buy your tickets, ask if you can cut in front of the person in front of you. if and when they say no, wait two minutes, and ask again. keep doing this until you reach the ticket person. 2. When buying your tickets, order one for each movie and ask if they think you can make it to all of them on time. 3. When buying the tickets order one for a movie, then change your mind after they have given it to you. Repeat until you have gotten through all the movies and say, "Oh, i think i'll just stick to the first one." 4. When standing in line for snacks, glare at everyone and yell, "Do you know how much fat there is in all of this? You people should be ashamed of yourselves, sitting on your butts in a movie theater and then eating 4 million calories before you leave!" When it is your turn, order an extra large soda, popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 orders of nachos, ice cream, and candy. 5. When the snack bar person asks what you want, say, "You. And put extra more...