"Out Of Tune" joke
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed and the passion is really heating up. Suddenly, the wife stops cold and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
"WHAT?!?" exclaims the husband.
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight, so he might as well just deal with it.
The next day, the husband takes her shopping at a large department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. "We'll take all three of them," he tells her.
He then goes to the Shoe Department and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. Next, he heads to the Jewelry Department and picks out a pair of diamond earrings. The wife is very excited, sure that her husband has flipped out but she doesn't care. She goes for the tennis bracelet.
"You don't even play tennis," he says, "but, ok, if you like it that much, then let's get it."
By now the wife is jumping up and down, so excited she can't even believe what's going on. "I'm ready to go," she says, "let's go to the cash register."
"No, no, honey, we're not going to BUY all this stuff," he says. The wife's face goes blank.
"No, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while," says the husband. The wife's face goes red and she looks like she's about to explode.
Just then the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!!"
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