"Reasons Why Women Should Not Have Freedom Of Speech" joke

She doesn't need to talk to get me a beer.
If she's in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway.
If she can talk, all she'll do is complain.
Because she won't say "I will" instead of "I do."
No man wants to hear "first down" during a basketball game.
Because PMS is no excuse for whining.
No man needs or wants to hear the word "period" unless it has to do with hockey.
Affirmative action.
When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey.
Oprah.
Feminists.
Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an equally stupid statement.
The 2nd and 19th amendments.
I don't want to be made to lie and say "I love you"
Highway fatalities would decrease by over 90%.
When I sneak out at four in the morning, I don't want to hear anybody calling me back.
Women sportscasters.
Women congressman.
God forbid, a woman president.
Marge Schott.
Stupid says as stupid does (and is).
Where does speaking come into "barefoot and pregnant?"
Yes that toilet seat was yellow in the first place.
TLC and Salt-N-Pepa.
I don't care if you're in labor. For the love of god, let me sleep.
They were the reason for the 18th ammendment.
The life expectancy of the average male goes down with every word.
Female drunks are annoying
We're tired of their "We can't pee standing up"
That damn apple.
Of course, if she can't speak, she can't argue.
Rosanne. Nuff said.
Suzanne Powter. Too much said.
Honestly, do they really have anything useful to say?
If she can't talk, she can't complain when I forget important dates.
When she talks she's not drinking, it's hard to get her drunk when shes talking.
The Mute button only works on the TV.
Helen Keller was the ultimate woman.
Equality is for math.
The credit card bill speaks for itself.
If it hurts, I don't wanna hear it.
Marcia Clark.
Chick-flicks.
You don't see Victoria's Secret models talking, do you?
Janet, Mariah, and Whitney.
Michael Jackson.
Intelligent car conversation? Hell no.
That annoying fat woman from Snapple.
High phone bills
Women should be seen and not heard.
Do you think it was BILL Clinton who messed up the country?
Because they're not men.
If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it.
Hell, if I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you.
"Where've you been?" Who are you, my mother?
Women on radio? You can't see them, do you really want to hear them?