85-year-old Jokes

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?"
"Terrific, wonderful menus."
"And the nursing?"
"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
"No problem at all - nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they ring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet... and that's it.I go out like a light."
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?
"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully more...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital."How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man."What's the food like?""Terrific, wonderful menus.""And the nursing?""Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you.""What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?""No problem at all - nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they ring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet... and that's it.I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra more...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man."What's the food like?""Terrific, wonderful menus.""And the nursing?""Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you.""What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?""No problem at all - nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet, and that's it. I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the Nurse in charge. "What are you people doing?" he asks. "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?""Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra more...

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office and while there the Doctor asked for a sperm count.
He gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man more...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital." How are you grandpa?" he asks." Feeling fine," says the old man." What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they ring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. .. and that's it. I go out like a light." The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?" Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, more...