An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"
Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor." I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it." "Ridiculous," said the doctor. "you'd never know if you had thedisease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of anykind." "Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."
Gullible cop
Hot 4 years agoby TJA cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the vehicle?
Driver: It's not my vehicle. I stole it.
Cop: Are you telling me this is a stolen car?
Driver: That's right. Mind you, now that I think of it, I believe I did see the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Cop: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yep. I put it there after I shot and killed the whoman who owns this car. Then I stuffed her in the trunk.
Cop: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
When the cop heard this, he immediately called his captain. Within minutes, the car was surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver so he could handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may more...