Active Jokes / Recent Jokes

A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week more...

( Apologies to all to whom this is not culturally relevant! )
A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday:
The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it.
For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and vestments,
but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was
horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was
horrified! Then came the children's lesson.
For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified! He sat there more...