Advantage Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick
themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort
in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the
dirt where it hides and whisking it away.
I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind
believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the
contrary - the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage
and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.
The time comes, however, when a man must face reality; when he must
look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary
and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in
Juarez."
When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some
advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your
arm and head for the bathtub:
Know that although the cat has the advantage of more...

A group of scientists ruled that disabled sprinter Oscar Pistorius somehow has an unfair advantage over his fellow runners. Not in competition, but in finding a decent parking spot.

10. Mass invasion from all sides and crush the Canadians with brute force.9. Casually walk through Canada/U.S. border saying you're just going to an Edmonton kegger.8. Take advantage of loose immigration laws and just infest the country with foreigners.7. Brainwash Canucks into thinking they are American using clever media propaganda. Oh wait, that's already happening.6. Just change the maps. I'm sure no one will notice.5. Just buy Canada, taking advantage of outrageous currency exchange rates.4. 30 NRA members with duck rifles should be enough to do it.3. Crush the arrogant Canadians by cutting off their supply of oil, wheat, natural gas, and water.2. Send American brides north, and breed them out over a fifty year period.1. Poison their beer!