Age Jokes / Recent Jokes
Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a. m.. Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's more...
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking... surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story.
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1971. Why?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely, and then the son of a bitch asked, "What did you teach?"
A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," as she processes his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants -- you might have qualified for disability, too."