Ahead Jokes / Recent Jokes
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
"Hi, Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am the shopping mall a couple of blocks from where you are. I just saw the most gorgeous mink coat. It's absolutely stunning! May I buy it?"
"What price are they asking?"
"Only $2,000."
"All right, if you like it that much, go ahead and get it."
"Ahhhh, and I also stopped at the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. They have one I really like. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price... and since we do need to exchange the one we bought last year... "
"How much did he quote you?"
"Only $65,000."
"Ok, but for that price I expect all the options to be included."
"Super! Ummm, before we hang up, there is one more thing... "
"What?"
"I know it might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and... well, I stopped by more...
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"To that the man asks, "Anything??" And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door." She does. He then says, "Get on your knees." She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out." With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello... Mom?"
A truck driver was driving along and passed a sign that said "low bridge ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car. He walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver said, "No officer. I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!"
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens.Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...