All-purpose Jokes

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten in. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be! Dear:
a) Mom,
b) Dad,
c) Love of my life,
d) Assistant Principal,
e) Local Police Chief,
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
a) car
b) house
c) pet
d) espresso maker
e) left arm
was severely damaged by my
a) infantile
b) puerile
c) inept
d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
e) woefully under-appreciated
prank.
How could I have known that the
a) car
b) jet ski
c) large helium balloon
d) rodent-driven sledge
e) zamboni
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should nothave pointed it in the direction of your
a) house,
b) wife,
c) Cub Scout troop,
d) 1/16th-sized replica of the more...