Almonds Jokes

A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs. Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears.
"Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing."
The woman says, "Oh just fine Father, come on in and we'll have some tea."
While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. "Mind if I have one?", the priest says.
"Not at all, have as many as you like".
After a few hours the priest looks at his watch and alarmed at how long he has been visting says to Mrs Smith, "Oh my goodness, look at the time. I must be going. Oh dear, I've eaten all your almonds. I'll have to replace them next time I visit."
To which Mrs Smith replied, "Oh don't bother, Father. Ever since I lost all my teeth, it's all I can do just to lick the chocolate off them."

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Almonds are a member of the peach family.