Antique Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "when I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I`d like to buy it." "Sorry," replied the owner, but I can`t sell you that." "Why not asked the customer?" "Because that`s my husband."
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
Great Dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in more...
These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe)
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2. 35; Chicken or Beef $2. 25; Children $2. 00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
•Include your children when baking cookies!
•Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
•Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
•British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
•Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
•A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
•Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
•For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
•For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
•Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
•Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
•Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory
•Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at more...
•Include your children when baking cookies!
•Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
•Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
•British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
•Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
•A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
•Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
•For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
•For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
•Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
•Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
•Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory
•Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at more...
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat.
The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but, I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even more...
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display, he discovers a detailed life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the bronze rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and more...