Applauded Jokes / Recent Jokes

A visiting golfer was keen to play but the only person in the clubhouse was an old man accompanied by his dog.
The old man said, "I'll play with you provided the dog can come with us." On the first tee the old man hit the ball 250 yds down the fairway. The dog sat on his hind legs and started applauding.
The next shot from the old man landed on the green. Once more the dog sat on his hind legs and applauded.
The old man's third shot of a 20 foot putt went right down the hole.
Once again the dog sat on it's hind legs and applauded.
The visitor said, "Does that dog of yours applaud every shot you take?"
The old man said, "No, when I hit a bad shot he turns summersaults."
"How many summersaults does he turn?"
The old man said, " Depends how hard I kick it in the balls!

At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.
The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."
Again the conference applauded.
Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, more...