Armless Jokes / Recent Jokes

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent
word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The
bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went
up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided
to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced
that he was there to apply for the bellringers job.
The bishop was incredulous."You have no arms!" "No matter," said the
man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face,
producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in
astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement
for Quasimodo.
Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and
plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street
below. The stunned more...

there was a man who was supposedly armless taking a shower and when a got out he had to pee he asked another man if he would hold his dick for him because he didnt have any arms the man said yea just dont tell anyone so he holds it and when he gets done the man asked what was that green stuff down there and the other guy pops his arms out and says i dont know but i sure as hell wasnt touchin it

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's more...

A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. “Look, ” said the customer, “I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth? ” “Sure”, said the bartender, and he did. “Now, ” said the customer, “I wonder if you’d be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth. ” “Certainly. ” And it was done. “If, ” said the armless man, “you’d reach in my right hand pants pocket, you’ll find the money for the beer. ” The bartender got it. “You’ve been very kind, ” said the customer. “Just one thing more. Where is the men’s room? ” “Out the door, ” said the bartender, “turn left, walk two blocks, and there’s one in a filling station on the corner. ”

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's side. more...

After Quasimodo's death the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the more...

An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...
Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a close by man, "Can you help me point my penis?"
The man reluctantly accepted but decided not to look at the man's penis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, "Hey! I'm grabbing it right? So I should look, I have a right"
He looks down at the man's member and sees that is beyond hideous. Startled, he jumps back and lets go, asking, "What the hell is wrong with it?"
The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but I ain't touchin' it," and walks away.