Asking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bud invited his pal Lou - who came from Dallas - to go watch his home team playing a
great match. Being a avid baseball lover, Lou wanted to know the names of the players
of the home team. Unfortunately, Bud only knew their nick names only. So here goes the
conversation took place between the two friends.
Lou: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the
team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those
fellows?
Bud: All right. but you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays
very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we
have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the
St. Louis team.
Bud: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: You more...

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way."Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?""Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?""Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on more...

Miracle Bra Alternative A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow gradually larger over a period of some years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow?" she asks. The husband shrugs. "Why not, it more...

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look long."

Once a American(Bob) came to Dehiwalla Zoo. A Srilankan(Pala) who was guiding with him and he hardly translate English.
First Bob saw bunch of Snakes on a pond and he was asking Pala what do you call that. Pala replies that is "Waterbariyas Compound".
Second Bob saw some kind of leafs and he was asking Pala what is this. And Pala replies that is "Halapa Otheniyas".
Finally Bob saw some bugs and he was asking the same question again and Pala replies that is "Lake Puit", the correct answer was "Calamadhiriya" or "Puke Light".

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 oclock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push. Not a chance says the husband - Its three oclock in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed. Who was it? asks his wife. Just a drunken stranger asking for a push he answers. Did you help him? she asks. NO, I didnt-its three in the morning and its pouring out! Well, youve got a short memory says his wife. Cant you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him. The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark: Hello, are you still there? Yes, comes the answer. Do you still want a push? calls out the husband. Yes, please! comes the reply from the dark. Where are you? asks the husband. Over here, on the swing the drunk replies.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the
Middle more...