Awesome Jokes

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE! !"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Three guys are travelling across the country. Their car breaks down in
the middle of nowhere, so they get out and start walking. They come
across this farm, so they go up, knock on the door, and the farmer comes
to the door and they explain their predicament to him. The farmer says
he will drive them into town tomorrow, but they will have to wait until
the morning, because everything in town is closed at this late hour.
The farmer then offers them food, and lets them sleep in the garage.
Before they go to sleep, the farmer comes out and tells them, "My daughter
is a nymphomaniac. If I hear any one of you even thinking about f*cking her,
I will blow your brains out." The farmer then leaves and goes to bed.
About 2:00am one of the guys wakes up. The temptation is too great for him.
He goes into the house and walks slowly up the stairs. About half way up
the stairs, he hits a loose board. "CREAK!!!" Immediately the more...

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today!

this site is awesome! look 4 the difference between the pics!