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A foreman at a construction site gathers three of his workers: an Irishman, an Italian and a Chinese.
He says to the Irishman, "you're in charge of Sweeping, I want this whole area swept up before I get back".
He says to the Italian, "You're in charge of shoveling. I want that pile shoveled into the truck so they can haul it away."
He says to the Chinaman, "You're in charge of supplies. No make sure that all gets done before I get back."
Three hours later, he returns and none of the work is done. The Irishman says, "I couldnt find a broom. You left the Chinaman in charge of supplies and he disappeared." The Italian says "And I couldn't find a shovel".
So the forman starts walking and looking for the chinaman. Just then, the Chinaman jumps out from behind a pillar and screams "SUPPLIES!!"

The Cajuns heard that Saddam Hussein was going to help Osama bin Laden and they decided This is WAR!!
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his bunker when his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Boudreaux down at the Fred's lounge in Mamou, Looziannah.
I'm callin' to told you we be officially declarin' war on you!"
"Well, Boudreaux, Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Rat now," said Boudreaux, (hesitating) "there is me, my cousin Thibedeaux, my nex door neighbor Justain, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Woo-eee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to call you back later!"
Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us more...

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far eastern country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Mueller is first. "What do you wish for yourself?"
"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."
"Okay, that shall be granted to you."
Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's more...

There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He gets more...

A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says "fill it up, please". The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car are
occupied by penguins.
"Hey Buddy" says the attendant to the driver, "These birds can't be happy like this...they're wild animals, you should take them to a zoo
or something.."
The motorist agrees to do so.
The next day the guy drives into the filling station and once more the attendant sees the penquins installed in the front and back seats, and they are all wearing sunglasses and holding towels...
"What's this?" he says to the driver, "I thought you agreed to take these birds to the zoo?"
The driver says "I did...and they had such a great time that today I'm taking them to the beach."

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out
and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.She said," That was incredible!"He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along!"So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.He said, more...

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there.
He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it."
The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an ass."
So, the man said,"Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said,"I like that chicken. I'll take it too."
The farmer replied,"That is a pullet."
So the man said,"Okay, I'll take the pullet."
He was looking at a rooster and said,"Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too."
The farmer replied,"That's not a rooster, it's a cock."
So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him,"Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and more...