Bad Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paddy and Mick were watching a John Wayne film on TV. In one scene John Wayne was riding madly towards a cliff.' I'll bet you $10 he falls over that cliff' said Paddy.
' Done,' said Mick.
John Wayne rode straight over the cliff. As Mick handed over his $10, Paddy said' I feel a bit guilty about this, I've seen the film before.'
' So have I,' said Mick,' but I didn't think that he would be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice! '

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word' penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word' penis' again on the black board.
Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words,
' The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'

Q. Why did the boy eat his homework? A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

One day three brother's are down in the basement playing. They come across a carton of BB's that went along with their father's old Red Rider BB Gun. Since their father had the BB Gun locked away upstairs, they decided to just put the BB's in their mouths and spit them at each other. They were having a pretty fun time, but every once in a while they would each swallow a few while they were running and romping around. Pretty soon they moved on to other activities and cleaned up the remainder of the BB's. After a few hours, one of the boys runs from the bathroom to his mother screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Confused, his mother sends him to his room to lay down for a while. A few minutes later, the second of the brother's run's out of the bathroom screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Perplexed, the mother sends the second boy to his room also. She sits a few minutes while she plans what to ask her two sons about the matter. Then, the third more...

Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts." She was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?" "She knows now," Jack replied.

An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said,' I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales.'
The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied,' Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son.'

Why did Mr and Mrs Werewolf call their son Camera?
Because he was always snapping