Balcony Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young woman is standing on the balcony of her apartment admiring the view, when she slips and falls over the side. She is caught a few floors down by a man who happens to also be out on his balcony.
"Oh, thank you," says the young woman, to which the man replies, "Do you suck?" "No!" says the horrified young woman, so he drops her.
She falls down some more floors when she is once again caught by a man who's out on his balcony.
"Oh, thank you," she says, to which he replies, "Do you fuck?" "No!!" she says, once again shocked. He too drops her.
As she is falling, she prays for one last chance. A third man who's standing on his balcony catches her.
Quickly, she yells to the man, "I Suck, I Fuck!"
"Slut!" he says, as he drops her.

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."
The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out.
"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"
"To tell the the truth, " he replied, "he seemed a little depressed to me."

Three guys, who had all died around the same time at about the same place, were waiting to take their place in Heaven. They were told by the angel that there was room for only one of them in Heaven. Their fate would be determined by the way each of them had died, so the angel went to each man and asked how they had died.
The first guy, when approached, said:
"Well, I live on the 14th floor of my apartment building and I came home early from work because I suspected that my wife had been cheating on me, and I wanted to give the other man a piece of my mind. However, when I got home there was no one in the apartment aside from my wife, but my intuition told me otherwise, so I searched the apartment. When I came to my balcony, ready the commit suicide, I saw a man hanging on, at that point I was so angry at him that I stepped on his hands hoping he'd fall off, but he remained firm. So I went back inside and got a hammer and hit his hands, but he still didn't fall off. In my more...

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early and tried to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand more...

The couple has a small boy about three years old. One day they wanted to have sex. They couldnt let the boy see them. So the father told her son "Son I and mom had to do some theing important. Untill then why dont you go the the balcony and wait untill we call you by the time you can shout about the things you see from the balcony"
So the kid is satnding in the balcony and shouting about the things he see he says "there goes the milk man" "there goes the paper man" the father is shouting back from in side the house
"good son keep on going" Then the kid suddenly said "the neighbours Mr & Mrs Smith are having Sex"
The father got a shock hearing this he got dressed and came to the balcony and asked from the kid "Can you see Mr & Mrs Smith from here having sex?"
The Kid replied "No I cant see them, But there son is also in the balcony Counting vehicles"

One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-ache. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient was looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, more...

A couple had a little boy around five years. One day the couple wanted to cheat the boy and send him away from the room. So the father told the kid, "Son, I got to do something important with mum. Can you go to the balcony and wait until we call you? Then he agreed with that. “Good boy, you can shout about the things you see from the balcony. Ok?" Father adds up.
So the kid was standing in the balcony and starts the shouting. "There goes the milk man" "There goes the postman" “That car is going fast”. Even dad gave him feedback. "good son keep on going".
Then the kid suddenly shouted, "Oh! Next door aunty and uncle are having Sex". The father got a shock hearing this and he ran to the balcony and shouted at the kid "What? What? Can you see Mr & Mrs Fernando having sex from here?"
Then the Kid replied, "No I can't see them, but also their son is counting vehicles in the balcony ".