Barn Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three guys are travelling across the country. Their car breaks down in
the middle of nowhere, so they get out and start walking. They come
across this farm, so they go up, knock on the door, and the farmer comes
to the door and they explain their predicament to him. The farmer says
he will drive them into town tomorrow, but they will have to wait until
the morning, because everything in town is closed at this late hour.
The farmer then offers them food, and lets them sleep in the garage.
Before they go to sleep, the farmer comes out and tells them, "My daughter
is a nymphomaniac. If I hear any one of you even thinking about f*cking her,
I will blow your brains out." The farmer then leaves and goes to bed.
About 2:00am one of the guys wakes up. The temptation is too great for him.
He goes into the house and walks slowly up the stairs. About half way up
the stairs, he hits a loose board. "CREAK!!!" Immediately the more...
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautionedthem that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and more...
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Havent found the durn thing yet!
The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman."Hows business?" asks the farmer. "Not very good, I havent sold a tractor in months, How are things on the farm?" asked the salesman."Well-- The other day I went out to the barn to milk that old cow I have. I started milking and she swatted me with her tail, so I tied her tail to the ceiling. I started milking again and she kicked me with her left leg so I tied that to the left side of the stall. I started milking again and she kicked me with her right leg so I tied that one to the right side of the stall. About that time my wife walked in the barn, and if you can convince her that I was just trying to milk that damn cow, Ill buy a tractor from you!!"
Once a travelling salesmen was on his way to a remote place, of course he knew of an Inn which will take him. a friend of him gave the location. However due to heavy wind and rain he could not reach the place, so he thought of finding an alternate arrangment. while walking he came to a small farm house, knowing that he can't travel any more, he knnocked the door.
A lady above middle age of not so good looking with a sad face opened the door. So he asked her "Mam, can I stay over night, the weather is so foul I don't think I can make it to the Inn. she say "Sir the only spare room I had I have given ti to this young couple who came in a moment before, however if it is OK you can stay with the baby in her room".
He thought for a while and it struck to him"what if the baby does PEE on him at sleep or be a nuisance all night'. So he asks the lady "mam I don't like to be disturbing her, rather if you could allow me sleep in the barn I'll be out of here by more...
One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?" Billy-Bob replies "Well sheriff, it's a long story!" Sheriff says he isn't in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues "Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did." "Inside the barn we started a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did." "Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and the Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said "Okay Billy-Bob, go to town..."
An old man and his wife live isolated in the hills. One day, a peddler comes selling his wares. The old man spots a mirror and says, "how'd you get a picture of my pappy?" He then buys it immediately but fearing his wife's anger at his reckless spending, hides the mirror in the barn and creeps out to gaze at it from time to time.Eventually the wife gets suspicious of his frequent vists, so one night she waits until he's asleep and sneaks out to the barn. Right away she sees the mirror behind the boxes and picks it up. "So!" she says. "This is the hussy he's been foolin' around with!"