Barrel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks "What does one do about sex around here?"

The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he finds it surprisingly enjoyable. He has another go the next day, and again the day after.

Then he asks, "Can I do this every day?".
"Yes, every day, except Wednesdays".
"Why not on Wednesdays?"
"Wednesdays is YOUR turn inside the barrel!"

A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks "What does one do about sex around here?" The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he finds it surprisingly enjoyable. He has another go the next day, and again the day after. Then he asks, "Can I do this every day?". " Yes, every day, except Wednesdays"." Why not on Wednesdays?" "Wednesdays is YOUR turn inside the barrel!"

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...

What is the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder?
One catches drops; the other drops catches.

Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing forher would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop.She wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd like, so she figured she'djust walk around until she found just the 'right one.' She went pastthe adorable little puppies, past the playful kittens, past thepreening birds, past the sleeping hamsters, past the whirling gerbils, and past the colorful fish.Nothing really appealed to her and seemed to be just what she waslooking for. She decided to go around the store again.On the way over to the puppies, she walked by a barrel. At the bottomof the barrel was a rather nasty looking toad. When she looked in, heWINKED at her! Our poor widow just shook herself! She couldn'tbelieve it. She rather quickly went back to the other pets ondisplay.Once again, she checked out those sweet little puppies, the darlingkittens, the fluttering birds, the fuzzy hamsters, the sleek gerbils, and the darting fish. Nothing really, more...