Barrel Jokes / Recent Jokes

In days of old, this young sailor was about to sign up for a 6-month trip on a sailing ship. He asked the captain about sex life, since there would be no women on the ship.
"Don' ye worry about it, lad. We'll make sure your needs are taken care of."
After about 2 weeks at sea, the lad had a bone that wouldn't go away, so he went to ask the captain how to take care of it.
"Aye, lad, 'ere's ya key. Go open up the door under the ladder. In there you'll find a barrel, take the bung out of the hole and insert your manhood. I think you'll find this arrangement satisfactory."
The lad went down, opened the door, removed the bung, inserted his prick and got his rocks off in record time. In fact, it was SO good he asked for the key the next five nights in a row.
On the sixth night, the captain said, "Not tonight, laddie; it's your turn in the barrel."

One day Banta walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: "You say in this ad that you have a wonderful luxury cruise for only Rs 5000. I want to go on this wonderful luxury cruise."
The guy behind the counter says "Sure. Do you have five thousand in cash??"
"I sure do," says Banta, plunking the money down on the counter.
At that point, two big thugs leap out of a closet, whack Banta over the head, drag his unconscious body out the back door, stuff him in a barrel and drop the barrel into a river that flows past.
A few moments later, Santa walks into the same dingy storefront travel agency, holds up the newspaper ad and says: "I want to go on this wonderful luxury cruise."
The guy behind the counter says: "Sure, you got the fare in cash?"
"Yeah" says Santa, slapping the money on the counter.
Again, the two big thugs leap out, pound him on the more...