Bathe Jokes

WHAT A DOG THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me - they must be gods!
WHAT A CAT THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me - I must be a god!

Once Three Friends Were Discussing The Greatness Of Their Father.
First Boy: My Dad Enters To Bathe In The Caspian Sea And Comes Out From Arabian Sea.
Second Boy: My Dad Enters To Bathe In The Atlantic Ocean And Comes Out From Pacific Ocean.
Third Boy: My Dad Enters From Our Buildings Water Tank And Comes Out From Our House Tap

Q. How does one sanitize nipples? A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
II. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
III. Use the element of surprise. Pick more...

I.
Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)II.
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.III.
Use the element of surprise. more...