Beach Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach? Cats keep covering them over with sand.
Yo mama so fat when she sees a school bus she yells "STOP THAT TWINKI!"
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the beach cats try to bury her.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat she irons he jeans on the drive way.
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so ugly when she went to an ugly contest, they said no professionals
Yo mama so fat when she weights herself the scale says one at a time pleas
Yo mama so fat she uses weather balloons for condoms
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach the people yell "FREE WILLY,FREE WILLY"
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach she blocks out the sun
Yo mama's like a door knob, every one get a turn
Yo mama's like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw
Yo mama's like a light more...
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach.
As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach.
He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him.
They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place...
They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so more...
Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
Mom says, "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes
back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a wedding.An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?"The old man replied, "I guess.""Is she a good Jewish woman?""I don't know for sure," the old man answered."Does she have lots of money?" asked the rabbi."I doubt it.""Then why are you marrying her?" the rabbi asked."She can drive at night," the old man said
Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach? A: Public access.