Beaches Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows' 95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?" Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill more...

Bill Gates died and was greeted at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. "You have a choice. Take a look around here, then pop down to hell and see what Satan has to offer. Check both places out and then let me know your decision," said St. Peter.
Bill took a look around heaven and saw lots of somber people singing hymns and praising the Lord. He then took a look around hell and saw beautiful beaches, lots of sun, sand, cool drinks and gorgeous women.
He went back to give St. Peter his decision. "I realize you're doing some wonderful things here," he said, "but hell seems much more with it, more my kind of scene. No hard feelings, but I pick hell."
"No problem," said St. Peter, "you've got it."
Bill then found himself back in hell, neck deep in fire and brimstone, suffering eternal torment. Not being able to figure it out, he yelled up to St. Peter, "Hey, St. Peter, what happened to all the beautiful beaches, cool drinks more...

Bill gates dies and finds himself in pergatory, snacked up by God. God said "I'm letten you chose where you want to go." Bill says "Whats the differance?" God said,"I'll allow you a short visit at each to make up your mind." The reply was lets see hell first. Hell was full of sandy beaches with beutiful women running aroud ang playing in the water. Bill said,"If this is hell, I want to see heaven!" So God took him to heaven. It was nice with all the angels floating around playing beautiful music. But, not as exciting as hell. So Bill said, " Heaven's nice and all, but I want to go to hell." So Bill went to hell. A few weeks later, God decided to check on Bill. He found Bill in a dark cave being tortured by deamons. God asked, " So, how ya' doin' Bill?" In a sad voice he said, "This is not what I expected. What happened to all of the beautiful women on the beaches?"

Bill Gates dies and is up at the pearly gates.
St Peter: Well, you've got a choice. Have a look around here. Pop down to Hell and see what Satan has to offer. Check us out, and then let me know your decision.
Bill has a look around heaven. Lots's of somber people singing hymns, praising the Lord .
He goes down to Hell. There are beautiful beaches, lots of sun, sand, attractive women . Long cool drinks that never get you drunk. He loves it. He goes back to St Peter.
Gates: Look, I know you're really doing good things here, but Hell seems more with it. More my kind of scene, you know what I mean? No hard feelings, but I pick Hell.
St Peter: No worries. You've got it.
Bill finds himself back in Hell, neck deep in fire and brimstone, suffering eternal torment. He can't figure it out.
Gates: Hey! St Peter! Where are the beautiful girls and long beaches and cool drinks?
St Peter: Sorry if you got confused, That was just the beta version

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows' 95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?" Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell f irst." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill more...

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I`m really confused on this one. It`s a tough decision; I`m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows `95 among other indiscretions. I believe I`ll do something I`ve never done before; I`ll let you decide where you want to go."
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don`t I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"
Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I`ll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of more...

Upon dying, Bill Gates went topurgatory.
St. Peter said to his, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and youhave done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
So, Bill takes a look at hell and see's these beautiful women running around, in 80 degreetemperature, on beautiful beaches.
Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, youknow harps and singing and worship and stuff like that.
So he said to St. Peter that hewould like to go to hell.
About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check onBill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons.
He said to St. Peter, "What happenedto all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?