Beginning Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit Ginger!" more...
A couple agreed to have sex on the days beginning with T's in the week.That is Tuesdays and Thursday.So one saturday it rained heavily and the weather was so chilled.The couples were in the mood but they vowed not to have sex except days with T's at the beginning.The man looked at wife and said .hi darling is today THURSADAY? The wife looked at the husband and said yes, even i have been trying to say so .You are such a darling.They hit it right away because thursaday begins with T.The following day the woman also came from work and said to the husband, today is my thursunday.So THUR became the norm.Today is my thursaday means, today i am in the mood for sex.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How Shit HappensIn the Beginning was The PlanAnd then came the AssumptionsAnd the Assumptions were without formAnd the Plan was completely without substanceAnd the darkness was upon the face of the WorkersAnd the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another,"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,"It promotes growth and is very powerful."And the Vice more...
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
NEW YORK, Oct. 7 (JTA) - In the beginning there was an idea and it was good: Jewish beer, named "He'Brew - The Chosen Beer.''
The beginning, for beer developer Jeremy Cowan, was last Chanukah, and it was so good that he sold every bottle of his 100 cases almost as soon as they hit the shelves of the liquor stores, kosher delis and restaurants that carried it in the San Francisco area.
Today Cowan, 28, has contracted with a leading micro-brewery and professional beer distributors in the San Francisco area, and is selling as many cases of the unconventional beer - 500 - in a week as he did during the past nine months.
The beer, whose theme is "exile never tasted so good," is available in stores throughout California and in other places by toll-free mail order through The Wine Club.
The centerpiece of the beer's brightly colored label is a picture of a Chasidic-looking rabbi looming over a landscape that puts the Golden Gate Bridge right next to a Jerusalem more...
The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed' Hebonics', as a second language. Backers of the move say the city's School District is the first in the state to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and significant attribute of New York culture.
According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at New York University and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.
Prof. Schollman explains, "In Hebonics, the response to any question Is usually another question -- plus a complaint that is implied or stated. Thus,' How are you?' may be answered, How should I be, with my feet?'"
Schollman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: "Mountains,shmountains. Stay away. You more...