Behind Jokes / Recent Jokes

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up!

Several years before the Gulf War, a female journalist did a story on gender roles in Kuwait. She noted that there it was customary for women to walk 10 feet behind their husbands. After the war, she returned to Kuwait and was pleased to observe that now the men walked 10 feet behind their wives. She approached a woman at the airport and asked, "What enabled Kuwaiti women to achieve this role reversal?" The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

Several years before the Gulf War, a female journalist did a story on
gender roles in Kuwait. She noted that there it was customary for
women to walk 10 feet behind their husbands.
After the war, she returned to Kuwait and was pleased to observe that
now the men walked 10 feet behind their wives.
She interviewed a Kuwaiti woman, and one of the questions she asked
was, "What enabled Kuwaiti women to achieve this role reversal?"
The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

One day this factory foreman hired 3 guys - a Polish fellow named 'Stosh', a black guy named 'Calvin' and a Chinese man named 'Ling'.
When it came to handing out work assignments, he said "Stosh, you take care of that machine over there. Make sure it has proper materials going it at all times and inspect each finished piece coming out".
Handing Calvin a broom, he said "Calvin, make sure this place is clean at all times. Sweep up anything that falls on the floor."
So Ling asked what HE was supposed to do and the foreman said "You're in charge of supplies" and went back to his office.
A little while later, he emerged from behind his desk to see how his new charges were doing.
Stosh was busily tending his machine and Calvin was sweeping up every piece of litter in sight. But he did not see Ling anywhere.
He went back to the warehouse - no Ling.
He checked the receiving area - no Ling!
He even went into the men's room - still more...

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

The bountifully endowed young doll was in an embarrassing situation, for her arms were filled with packages and she was wearing a dress that was simply too tight to allow her to step up into the bus for which she had been waiting the last fifteen minutes. A crowd pressed from behind and so she reached back, unobserved she hoped, and attempted to gain some additional freedom by pulling down the zipper at the back of her dress. It didn't seem to help and she still couldn't negotiate the high step, so she reached again for the zipper and addi- tional freedom, but again it was no use. Then from out of the impatient crowd behind her, a young man picked her up and deposited her gently inside the bus.
This, of course, only embarrassed the girl more. "What right have you to pick me up like that?" she gasped. "Why, I don't even know you!"
"Well, miss," the man said, smiling and tipping his hat, "after you pulled my zipper down the second time, I more...

A crowded flight was cancelled and a single agent was in the process of rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an irate passenger pushed his way to the desk, slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I MUST be on this flight and it must be FIRST CLASS!"
"I'm sorry sir," the agent replied. "I will be more than happy to try to help you, but I must help these folks first. I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
Unimpressed, he yelled so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have ANY idea who I am?"
Without hesitation, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, "May I have your attention please?" her voice bellowed through the terminal. "There is a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS! If there is anyone who can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the passengers behind him laughing hysterically, he glared at more...