Beings Jokes

I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.

{ Some of this is as told to me by a friend who got it from somewhere
off TV; the rest is original. You get to figure out which is which. }
They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the
first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the
actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:
"Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved
First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-
Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.
All beings, places and events depicted in this work are
fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places
and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.
WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are
dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals
familiar with the action in question.
NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark
are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In
no way more...

As an investigator for the Fantasy Beings' Fair Housing Commission, Ferdinand Feghoot was assigned to look into complaints that the town of Donnybrook was systematically excluding the fictive.

The Mayor of Donnybrook was indignant.' That's nonsense!' he fumed.' Why, we have several families of Hobbits living here, the principal of our high school is an Elf, and one of our aldermen is an Orc.'

Feghoot shook his head sadly.' That,' he replied,' is only. . . Tolkien integration.'

(By Alan Follett based on a character by Richard Bretner)

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the
first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the
actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:
"Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved
First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-
Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.
All beings, places and events depicted in this work are
fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places
and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.
WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are
dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals
familiar with the action in question.
NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark
are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In
no way should this be construed as a sign that there is,
beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a
misconstrual happen, the more...