Beirne Jokes / Recent Jokes

A short while ago, someone posted the annual scientific analysis of the Santa Claus story, which can be summed as as "Santa Claus - he dead." Traumatized, I forwarded it one to my friend, Joe Beirne, who knows more about science than I do. He returned this rebuttal. As far as I can figure it, Santa lives. It is we that are an illusion.
here's the answer:
--- Forwarded message ---
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Joe Beirne
To: Michael Pollak
Subject: Re: The scientific view of Santa
Santa is probably a creature entirely existant only in the 23rd dimension. Mass, velocity and time have no measurable effect on his efforts on Christmas. As a matter of fact, true-to-legend, in his sub-atomic world it is *always* Christmas. He has essentially forever to deliver the presents, which he unfolds to 4 dimensions using some kind of gravity well (?) (He probably does not live on the North Pole per se, but on one pole of a dipole quantum singularity from whence he more...